travel & lifestyle blog by ruth dela cruz

How Would a Woman Use the End of the World Survival Kit from Axe?

January 22, 2012

I got a message from a friend last week – telling me that the End of the World is near, and that he has a Survival Kit for me. I hurriedly prepared to work so I could meet him. It was nice of another friend to actually get it for me. Here’s what I got.

It says that I should only open this in case of emergency. Define emergency.. Is it being stopped by a hot guy on your way home? I need to know what’s inside. So I opened..

I am surprised, I thought my own survival kit is enough.. Oh yeah, I have those cuffs and scarves. I actually have a black furry cuff which I gave away as a gift. Someone should make use of it.

I know what’s running in your mind right now, but the kit comes with an instruction and public advisory too.

It’s 2012, the year the Mayans have predicted to be the end of the days.
Are you prepared?
Survivor, you are one of the chosen few
for what you hold in your hands are the keys to your happy survival.
So, take comfort in this kit.
It can spell the difference between merely surviving,
and surviving with great pleasure
in the DARK, DARK days ahead.
Now, that’s a scary announcement – and I thought the kit is only for guys – but I am glad just the same that I was chosen to receive the kit. I even jokingly told my friend that I will publish the pictures on how I will use the stuff. Reading the survival kit, I know the instructions are applicable by men. But that doesn’t mean women cannot be creative. 
This is a rope, not a whip (silly!). I know it so much resembles like a nice tassel to hold the curtain (why not). 
The instructions said that it can be used to tie twigs, leaves and what-nots. I say, I could use it to tie a stalker. That should keep him in place. Or tie a hottie. So I know where to come back for him.
A fuel or an oil. Based on the instructions, it is needed to create fire or heat. But I would prefer to use it as massage oil. 
A handcuff – a furry handcuff (if you see a policeman carrying a furry handcuff, confirmed. He’s one fashionable police officer!). Like what I told you, I will take a pic of myself using the stuff – so here it is. Wearing the cuff which I think makes a good accessory. 
How would a woman use it? I thought of cuffing a robber just incase I encounter one. But a furry cuff is too fancy for a robber. How about cuffing a “rub-ber” (someone who rubs?). I like it!
(Btw, if you like my nail polish, read about it here).
A tourniquet (more of a scarf to me). The guide says that it can be used to wrap you if you are bleeding to death (will it save me if it is also the time of the month?). I thought it would make a good head turban or a cover-up in a beach where guys look at you like a prey. 
Or maybe something to use to entangle someone (?) Think Killing Me Softly..
Then of course, the 2012 Axe Final Edition.. How am I gonna use this? I’ll just probably give it to a man who needs to survive. But I would have to choose carefully, and I will make sure he only uses it when we are alone – because I hate competitors, and I don’t want to use the kit to fight with other girls. I can get nasty. 
Watch the video below to know more about survival.
Now, are you ready to survive? 
Happy End of the World!

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